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Jessica Ferguson

Author, Writing Coach, Speaker

IWSG: What Would Make You Quit Writing?

July 6, 2021 By Jessica Ferguson 12 Comments

Today, Wednesday, is Insecure Writers Support Group day.

Our Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds! Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.

The awesome co-hosts for the July 7 posting of the IWSG are Pat Garcia, Victoria Marie Lees,and Louise – Fundy Blue!

Each month we have an optional question. This month it is: What would make you quit writing?

What would make me quit writing? Last month I would have said absolutely nothing. Discouragement hasn’t done it in forty plus years; and there has certainly been plenty of discouragement. With the popularity and acceptance of Indie publishing, rejection can’t crush me the way it once did.

If those two things can’t stop me, nothing can. At least, that’s what I thought. This week I know better.

I recently signed up for a webinar called The Pleasure of the Personal Essay, offered by Jane Freidman. Our instructor was Dinty W. Moore, one of my favorites. I have his excellent book, Crafting The Personal Essay.

Hearing Dinty speak about the essay stimulated my imagination, and encouraged me. I’ve always figured the essay is short and formal—not a relaxed observation with questions and answers, ponderings and research. I never realized an essay could be book-length. Have you ever heard of a book-length essay? The White Album by Joan Didion? Heavy by Roxane Gay? How did I miss the book-length essay? Is it something I’ve forgotten?

The seventy-five minutes of Dinty W. Moore’s voice was akin to pouring fuel on smoldering coals. My mind raced with all kinds of possibilities for writing essays about things that have touched me, scared me, confused me. Actions and observations that I’m still pondering from long ago and far away.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to see my 97 year old mother who has round the clock sitters. Mom was a spit-fire in her day. A country girl from Arkansas, bright red hair and freckles, she was the oldest of ten kids. Her dad was an ordained, self-proclaimed Baptist minister. And Grandpa was totally illiterate. He couldn’t read. He couldn’t write. Often we couldn’t even understand the word he was trying to say.

Mom always said he was too mean to learn, but later, she amended that to too lazy. I suspect today we’d label him with a learning disability.

But my auditory processing Grandpa learned the Bible by making his eight daughters read to him. And from listening to an odd assortment of preachers on the radio. (His two youngest children—sons—became preachers too, though to their credit, they were educated.)

Mom was the first to leave home. After a failed marriage to her best friend’s brother, she hopped a bus and headed to Texas where she became a nurse. And while there is a much interesting story between leaving Arkansas and meeting Dad, I’ll save it for a later date.

Each time I go home to Texas from Louisiana, I wonder what I’ll encounter. Will she sleep during our entire visit? Will she know me? Will she bring up embarrassing childhood events as if they happened to someone else? She loves to tell stories about switching my little brother’s legs; she can’t quite remember popping me when I stuck my face out and backtalked her.

For seven years, I was an only child. My little brother came along when I was a first grader. Today, our mom fuzzily recognizes us.

This recent visit, she called me by name then wept, covering her face with her manicured hands. Thankfully, her sitters spoil her. She always wanted beautiful nails—she has them now.

When she looked up at me, she asked: “You’re my daughter? I’m a mother?” I couldn’t help wonder why that would surprise her.

My brother warned that she’d done the same with him. Over and over again, the ritual played out. She would cry, look at us with tears streaming down her face.

“Mom, why are you sad about that?” Even as I said the words, I wondered if I really wanted to hear her answer.

“You don’t understand,” she said in a small voice that wasn’t hers. (Mom had never owned a small voice.) “I’m different from most people. I cry when I’m happy.”

Her logic was impressive. It was the small, pitiful voice that was so disconcerting.

I’m just as disturbed by the disconnect in her mind. How can one forget children of sixty and seventy years? The intimate things shared and learned together. The fights and disagreements? How can one forget much loved shopping trips?

Oh, how I dreaded those shopping trips, just as much as I loved the new clothes. Mom touched and examined every garment, every price tag, and then went back to the beginning and touched, examined them all again, wondering, visualizing, making her decision about the wisest investment. The quality. During my growing up years, she owned two starched nurse’s uniforms, bright white, not a stain anywhere, and two dresses for church. My closet was full.

How could she forget those unique bell bottoms she bought for me, or those black leather pants? I had matching shoes for my skirts and dresses. Pointed toes. T-straps. She was a shoe lover; and I was the recipient of her love for shoes. No matter the size, if they were on sale, they were mine. My toes scrunched into six and a half narrows and I stuffed cotton and Kleenex into the eights.

When I remember the life we shared, the laughter, the tears, the anger, the disagreements, the hostility, the sacrifice … I wonder where it is in her mind? What corner of her deteriorating brain protects those memories, because she is … was … a hoarder, of sorts. She has to be saving memories somewhere, doesn’t she?

She saved tiny chunks of Dial soap in bags—just in case. Not sandwich bags, but large plastic grocery bags filled full. Just in case we became a world without Dial.

Where are her memories? Maybe we aren’t in her mind anymore, but stuffed deep down in her heart. With her love for nursing. I always thought Mom loved nursing so much more than she loved us. But in hindsight …

The second day I saw my mother, she still knew my name, but when I told her I was her daughter, she laughed. An unrecognizable giggle, not the belly laugh I grew up with. My mother never giggled in her life—at least, not during my lifetime.

“Why are you laughing, Mom?” I asked.

“Because I’m so proud of you.”

Proud of me?

She doesn’t remember the hateful words, the times I disappointed her. She doesn’t recall her continuous sacrifice that couldn’t possibly have been fun. Sacrifice was something she did without thinking, for her family. Her second nature.

“I’m so proud of my children.”

Just like in the old days, through tears and laughter, we love each other.

For four days, we entertained each other with foreign dialogue that neither of us understood, and I came away knowing more about myself, my own life. Asking myself hard questions that may or may not have decent answers. I know one thing for certain: When asked what can make me quit writing, the answer will be … will always be …

I’ll write forever, until my children sit beside me and I look at them in dismay and ask: “You’re my children and … I’m a writer?”

 

Filed Under: IWSG Tagged With: Dinty W. Moore, discouragement, essay, family, I, illiterate, Inspiration, IWSG, Jane Friedman, love, memory loss, mothers & daughters, Questions, The Pleasure of the Personal Essay, writing

IWSG DAY: Questions, Questions, Questions

January 1, 2019 By Jessica Ferguson 29 Comments

Today is so exciting because it’s Insecure Writers Support Group day. IWSG was founded by Alex J. Cavanaugh  for the purpose of encouraging other writers—or anyone who’d like to learn the craft. Writers can ask questions and express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. We’re a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds. We invite you to follow other IWSG members here or by using the twitter hashtag #IWSG. You can also go to our Facebook page and Instagram. We’re awesome!

Co-hosts for the January 2 posting of the IWSG are Patricia Lynne, Lisa Buie-Collard, Kim Lajevardi, and Fundy Blue!

 Our January 2nd question is What are your favorite and least favorite questions people ask you about your writing?

The question I dislike the most but hear often is are you still writing? That’s a sure sign they haven’t Googled me, looked me up on Amazon and they certainly aren’t reading me. Yeah, yeah, I know I’m putting all the work on them. The way I see it (and like it) is if they do what they’re supposed to do (track me down) then I won’t have to do what I should be doing (promote myself and my books!) I really have a rough time promoting myself.

Questions I’d like to hear are:

Hey, I was thinking about you the other day and Googled your name. You’re really out there, girl! How did I miss all the excitement in your life? Now that would make me laugh out loud! I might even strut a little.

Or this question:

I can’t get your first book out of my mind. It was such a fun novel, I really loved all the Elvis trivia. Have you thought about writing a sequel?

Yes, a prequel and a sequel, but no, my Elvis days are over.

Answering questions about our work is part of the job–regardless of whether they’re good questions or bad questions. Promotion, advertising, doing interviews and blog hops is expected. Every contract I’ve signed has included a paragraph about promoting the project.

Having interviewed authors for Southern Writers Magazine for almost seven years, I noticed how some authors have a knack (a personality) for answering questions and others come across dull as dirt. Maybe the dull ones are trying to come across as serious professionals. Then again, maybe they just have no personality or humor about them. Answering questions seems like an easy task but as an interviewer, I believe there’s an art to it. We all need to learn how to answer questions in a way that encourages the reader to find us interesting and want to know us better. We should put personality in our answers.

In 2019, I hope to write, sell and answer a lot of questions. How about you?

Filed Under: IWSG Tagged With: Interviews, IWSG, Questions, writing

Z is for Zillions

April 29, 2016 By Jessica Ferguson 4 Comments

ZThis is the last post for our 2016 A to Z Challenge. I’ve enjoyed posting every day about writing, coaching and inspiration. I hope I’ve shared something you’ve found interesting, and that you’ve felt encouraged.

Today Z is for Zillions. Those zillions of things we should know and ask about this business we’re in: about publishing, publishers, agents and editors (including freelance editors), and even writing coaches. We should always ask what’s required of us, if there’s cost involved, what rights a publisher is buying and what happens to those rights if and when our books go out of print. There are a lot of horror stories out there; most of them are true.

If we’re joining others in an anthology of any kind—short stories or novellas—we should ask those same questions: know what’s required of you financially, due dates, who the freelance editor will be, cover designer and how the royalties will be disbursed. Will there be a discount on author copies? Someone has to be in charge so find out who.

There are questions we should ask that we might not even think of, like, “How do you spell your name?” At book signings, when we’re autographing our first book, we should always ask how to spell the person’s name, no matter how simple it sounds. It might be Ann, Anne or Ayn. How many different ways can you spell Jamie? How about Marianne, Marianna, Maryann, and Mary Anne? I’ve ruined a few books. Some authors just mark it out and start over in the same book. Not me. I couldn’t! So yes, I had to pay for my own book because it belonged to the bookstore.

Be aware that when you have readers around you, clamoring for a book or to ask a question, you will stop thinking. Adrenalin is pumping. You’re selling books! I bought three copies (gifts) of the same book from an author once and because he was surrounded by his fans he didn’t ask me who all the books were for; he autographed all three books to me! Now does that make sense? Neither one of us were thinking! Dumb things will happen so be aware and try to minimize them.

Make note: if your bookstore runs out of your books during a signing but customers are still lining up to buy you (and you just happen to have twenty more books in your car) don’t just hand them over to the bookstore manager. These are YOUR books. If they insist on handling the transactions (and they probably will) make certain you have an understanding in writing how many books you are putting them in charge of and that you will get your $$$ before you leave the store. I wasn’t too bright when this happened to me.

See what I mean. Zillions of questions about this business! Zillions of answers!

One question we often have is about money, how much we’re likely to make from __ __ publisher. It may not be important to you on that first book, but it will become important to you. That’s a promise. 🙂 Writing is hard work and no one wants to write for FREE.

Make note: It’s not cool to ask other writers what they make, in fact, it’s considered in very bad taste. Only newbies/amateurs/uncool people do that. We don’t ask brain surgeons what they make. We don’t even ask house painters!

But there is an author who’s asking because she wants all writers to be informed so they can make wise decisions regarding their careers. Brenda Hiatt collects and shares data on author earnings from various publishers. The only way for her to do that is if we fill out her publishing survey. We do it anonymously so if you have a publisher, please go to her website and fill out the info. Here’s the link for you to check publishers. Her information was last updated in early 2015.

Do you have questions that need answers? I don’t know everything but I enjoy trying to find answers. Feel free to email me privately at jessyferguson (at) gmail (dot) com if you don’t want to post your questions below. And thanks so much for following my A to Z Challenge. You’ve made it all worthwhile!

Good writing!

Filed Under: A to Z 2016 Tagged With: money, Publishing, Questions

Q is for Quick & Easy Character Querying

April 20, 2016 By Jessica Ferguson 5 Comments

QI’m probably the Queen of Quick and Easy—just give me a short cut and I’ll take it. That’s why writing novels in one swift sit-down sounds so appealing—even though I’ve learned it doesn’t work for me. There’s no quick and easy when it comes to knowing my characters. Remember the old saying, you gotta live with someone before you really know him? True! It’s the same with our characters.

Often talking to my characters will set me on the right path with my book. Something about asking them questions, learning what they like or dislike reveals their personality, rounds them out, and identifies potential problems, better known as conflict.

It’s interesting to learn the different approaches writers take to reach the same destination: The End.

In one writing course I took, our instructor gave us the following list and we were to write down how we thought our character would answer. Sort of like The Newly Wed Game. 🙂 We weren’t to give it a lot of thought—just write—as if we’ve known our character for years. It’s hard to say whether such an exercise is beneficial or not, but it was fun.

My character is a 30-something wife and mom. Her name is Sas Maplewood. Whoever filled out her birth certificate wrote Sasanna instead of Susanna. They simply closed the ‘u’ and made it look like an ‘a’.  Her mom hated it but her grandmother thought it was quite original, so the name Sasanna was a keeper. In school, friends nicknamed her Sas. The following is what I know about Sas Maplewood.

Sas Maplewood’s Favorite Book:  Bleachers by John Grisham because it made her feel sad.

Favorite Movie:  Serendipity with John Cusak because it’s fun.

Favorite Drink: Give her a vanilla milkshake any time of the day or night.

Dream vacation spot: Vacation? What’s that? Oh, DREAM vacation. Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Phobia: She might not call it a phobia, but she can’t stand for anyone to grip her wrists or touch her neck. She panics! In fact, she’ll swing first and ask questions later. Needless to say, she’s not into neck nuzzling. Just ask her husband.

Favorite saying: “Suspect everybody. . .” and that’s exactly what she teaches her kids. It’s part of her “Be a Safety Kid” lecture that she gives them every morning as she puts them on the school bus.

Pet Peeve: Telemarketers.

Necessary extravagance: Junk stores and garage sales.

Who would play her in a movie: Amy Breneman from Judging Amy.

Craziest thing she’s ever done: She writes letters to the editors of newspapers and magazines. Not really crazy except to her husband and kids.

Would like to be reincarnated as: Sas would never believe in reincarnation, but if she did she’d come back as her grandmother so she could figure out why her mother is the way she is.

Do you see any benefit to this type of character interview? Have you ever asked your characters questions and really listened to their answers?

Filed Under: A to Z 2016 Tagged With: characters, Questions

Q is for Questions

April 20, 2015 By Jessica Ferguson Leave a Comment

I can’t believe we’re on Q already. As you can see, I’m hanging in there with this annual A-to-Z Blogging Challenge. And believe me, it hasn’t been easy! For more information on the challenge and its creator visit:   http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com.

I’ve covered this in all my posts I think, but Q can be for nothing other than Questions. No matter whether you’re renovating a house, interviewing for a job or determining where you’re going on vacation, it’s imperative that we ask the right questions. I believe communication has diminished considerably. Why are people so lackadaisical about asking questions these days? Do they feel they’re prying? Maybe they feel all the right answers will be forthcoming. Not so. If you don’t ask ALL the right questions, you will not get all the right answers. What do I mean by right answers? The answers that matter to you–those that directly affect you.

Example: I know a lady who’s dad was in the hospital. She noticed he didn’t get a particular medication that he’d been getting days before. If she had assumed the doctors had changed his meds, hadn’t bothered to ask WHY, then she wouldn’t have learned that it was an oversight on the part of the staff.

Another example might be: you’re signing with an agent. You’re thrilled that one is taking you on but you haven’t asked many questions. If you don’t ask if there are hidden fees, charges or up-front costs, then you’ll probably be surprised a little later down the line. 

When it comes to asking questions, don’t worry about stepping on toes or sounding like you’re hard to get along with. We can’t expect our doctors, lawyers, contractors, dentists, agents, publishers, editors, nursing home staff, wedding photographers, caterers (and the list goes on and on) to actually remember to tell us all we need to know. ASK QUESTIONS! If you don’t know what to ask, get some advice from Facebook friends or Google “What to ask a contractor?” Knowledge is power. Don’t be caught off guard.  

Filed Under: A to Z 2015 Tagged With: A to Z Challenge 2015, home renovation, Questions, Uncategorized

E is for Educate on Everything

April 6, 2015 By Jessica Ferguson Leave a Comment

Today is E is for Educate … yourself. I can’t tell you enough how important it is to educate yourself if you plan to renovate. There is so much to know–about products, what you like and dislike, about the contractor himself and hundreds of other things.

You may decide to interview every contractor in your area, or you may use a friend or family member. Here’s a site that offers some interesting questions–most of which I agree with. http://www.askthebuilder.com/50-contractor-interview-questions/  While you may think some of these questions sound silly, they really aren’t. You’d be surprised at what you’ll come face to face with. One of the questions on this site is: May I please inspect the inside of your truck or car?  This is supposed to show you the contractor’s organizational skills. I should have asked this question. I don’t think our little contractor had any organizational skills. Once he lost his truck keys and we searched for an hour or more. He finally found them … in his pocket. And yes, he’d searched his pockets several times.

The more you learn about your contractor, the better off you’ll be. You might want to see some of his work, so don’t hesitate to ask for names of people he’s worked for. If you can, interview them to find out just how happy they were with their renovation experience.

Potential unexpected problems you might have to deal with that have little to do with the inside of your house: angry neighbors. Workers have a tendency to block drive and destroy grass by either driving over it or pouring paint into the yard.  Be sure to ask how many vehicles will be in your driveway at one time and if they do daily clean-up. When Mr. Contractor says yes, they do daily clean-up, you should say, “No, seriously, do you do daily clean-up?” The contractor will laugh a little and repeat yes, to which you should say, “Define clean-up.”

When it comes to educating yourself about products… good luck. I spent hours looking at magazines and walking through Lowes, Home Depot and our local Steins. Believe me when I say there are several answers to any one question you ask. You have to determine the right answer. You have to know what stains and what doesn’t, what’s slick and what isn’t. If flooring will buckle under a little water … if paint can be wiped down, or if it’ll end up chipping or peeling.

A site I used to learn about decorating and products is Houzz.  I had pictures and colors and a vision in mind. Once I shared my vision with my contractor, my vision got lost. Be firm. Know what you want and why you want it. I learned that the pictures in magazines and on decorating sites are basically fiction. There are and were a thousand reasons I couldn’t have some of the things I liked. It reminded me of when I took a Dillards newspaper ad of a pretty sweater to my local store and said, “I want this sweater” to which the salesperson answered. “That’s not a real sweater; it’s just an example of the kind of sweaters we sell.” 

Educate yourself, if for no other reason, you’ll have interesting dialogue with your contractor.

Filed Under: A to Z 2015 Tagged With: A to Z 2015, Contractor, E is for Educate, Questions, skills, Uncategorized

C is for Contractor

April 3, 2015 By Jessica Ferguson Leave a Comment

This is the third day of the A to Z Challenge. And here it is 11:10 pm CST. I’m just now writing my C post.  My word today is Contractor. 

Someone said you should ask him two questions: how long and how much. Believe me, we asked and those two questions have a way of changing, almost daily. If you watch any of the HGTV renovation shows, you know that.

We hired our contractor because he’d been used by some of our neighbors. It wasn’t that they gave him a glowing recommendation, they said he was the best of the worst. That, along with our previous experience interviewing contractors got this guy the job. And his personality. A good personality always helps, doesn’t it? He told us our renovation would take four to six weeks at the most. If we had known … but that comes later.

I blame myself for this huge mistake. I like to hire people I don’t feel intimidated by, someone I think I can get along with.

Evidently Mr. Contractor watched way too much HGTV, and considered himself quite the decorator/designer. Every thing I suggested, he told me why I couldn’t/shouldn’t have it: from paint colors to ceramic tile to granite to … everything! Actually, I think he had a little passive aggressiveness in him and that’s why the book cases don’t go to the ceiling. Though one of you suggested only writers/readers understand the concept of floor to ceiling. Maybe that’s true.

Still, I got the feeling Mr. Contractor wanted to give me everything I wanted… to a point.

Example: the ceiling fan in my living room. I told him I wanted it to give off a lot of light and he agreed. My old ceiling fan didn’t have a light so I was ready to have an overhead. One day we came in and there was a beautiful ceiling fan but the light was a little of nothing. He was so proud of it, raved about how it matched things so well. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I didn’t want it. Should I have told him to take it down? Yes, it’s pretty… just not functional for readers.

Was I supposed to go to stores and pick out everything I wanted? Because I didn’t. Mr. Contractor picked things out and gave me choices. That was okay I guess. No stress for me. But who’s in control here?

Like all contractors–or so I’m told–he disappeared for days at a time. He’d tell us he’d see us the next day then we wouldn’t see him again for a week. I still don’t like the colors he painted my kitchen, dining room, halls. And because of the color and design in my ceramic tile, it looks dirty all the time. I sound like a complainer, don’t I? Look at the pic–this is how we lived for months!

Did I tell you during this time, we planned a wedding too? Renovation started in March of 2014
Daughter got married August 23, 2014
And the renovation went on and on and on…

I don’t think there’s a question you can ask a contractor that will get you the right answer. Or maybe even a straight answer. So my advice is, if you decide to renovate your house, make it easy on yourself and don’t! Just buy a new one.

Tomorrow D is for doors, dust and den, I guess.

Did I tell you Mr. Contractor lost some cabinet doors? Maybe my D word should be Don’t!

Filed Under: A to Z 2015 Tagged With: A to Z Challenge 2015, Contractor, mistakes, paint, Questions, Uncategorized

A is for Action and It’s IWSG Day

April 1, 2015 By Jessica Ferguson Leave a Comment

Happy IWSG day—the first Wednesday of each month. IWSG has never missed a posting day (even though I have!) so I’m combining my A to Z Challenge and my IWSG post. I hope it doesn’t seem too discombobulated. Anyway, many thanks to Alex Cavanaugh for creating IWSG. It’s a much-loved, very special organization.

It’s hard to believe April is here all ready. For almost a year, I’ve been looking forward and thinking about my A to Z theme. If I was smart, I would have prepared each post ahead of time, but not me. When it comes to the A to Z Challenge, I like to live dangerously. Off the top of my head the night before posting–or morning of. Okay, here we go, we’ll see what happens!

Like the TV ad said…we were ready to make our dreams a reality. I’d wanted to yank up carpet and knock down walls for a long time. The 30+ year old home hubby and I purchased in 1996 definitely needed a face lift. But, the time was never right. Hubby worked out of town, we had a daughter in private school, then college … we just didn’t have the money to invest in home renovation.

So last year, one year after hubby retired, we decided to take ACTION. I could hardly believe it! I began my list of desired improvements and started my research. Exciting times—or so I thought.

Here’s my ACTION List:
Living Room: New ceiling fan with great reading lights,new baseboards,  and new flooring all the way down the hall & into master bedroom, paint, removal of wet bar to build floor to ceiling book shelves.
Dining Area:  New flooring, paint

Kitchen: Combine kitchen & dining area, new flooring, new countertops – granite or …? Backsplash, New stove top, new dishwasher, microwave and oven. New garbage disposal, doors on bookcase under bar, remove built-in desk and build shelves with doors, new cabinets? We’ll see.
Master Bedroom: paint, new floor
Master bathroom: new shower, shelves over built-in chest, shelves over bathtub, paint. And new floor.
Guest Bathroom: new countertops and sinks. New toilet, new floor. New tub?     
Son’s room: paint? New floor?
Daughter’s room? New floor?

This is the list we discussed with the contractor—more about him later—and of course, it was all negotiable. At this point, what we wanted and what we could afford were still two different things–sort of like wanting to be published by one of the Big 5 publishers but settling for an unknown small press.
Listen to me: Research is imperative. It doesn’t matter if we’re going to a new doctor or a new literary agent, moving to a new city or a new publisher—research is crucial to keep us from making unnecessary mistakes.
I learned the hard way that no matter whether we’re taking action on our writing dreams or renovating a house, we need to always ask the right questions. What are the right questions? Well, sometimes we don’t know them until after the fact. 
Do you know any good questions to ask a contractor before he starts knocking down walls? I’d love to hear them. What would you ask your agent if you learned he was e-bombing your book proposal to publishers–even though some of them didn’t publish your genre?
Research + Asking the right questions = a happy writer and a happy renovator!

Join me tomorrow for B-day.

Filed Under: A to Z 2015 Tagged With: A to Z Challenge 2015, IWSG Day, Questions, renovation, research, Uncategorized

Reality Faith.
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"As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”
Acts 4:20

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